As a high school student, I spent the summers of the late 80’s volunteering with children in Philadelphia. I naturally gravitated toward opportunities to observe art and encourage others to be creative. The anti-graffiti network was growing strong at this time, and I witnessed the transformation of the city’s urban spaces. Artists were partnering with community members to create beautiful murals all over the city. I fell in love with these rich, comforting images and dreamed of one day being a part of such a creative process. I eventually found my way into art education, and have been teaching art for over 15 years.
In the summer of 2012, I took a class at a local college that was specifically designed for art teachers. I heard a street artist talk about her practice, and it sounded like what I had imagined for my own life. I was spellbound listening to her words, and it occurred to me that I although I was in an art classroom everyday, I had buried my dream of practicing art myself, and given up on the dream of ever creating a mural. I listened to her describe the criticism she overcame, and her determination to speak through her art, and it brought me to tears. Finally, she made a statement about having “rhino tough” skin, and it resonated with me to the point that I began to focus on making art myself. I was able to network with this artist. This provided me with my first introduction to displaying my work in galleries. The anticipation of criticism from the public was both exhilarating and excruciating, and I was pleasantly surprised to have endured the experience. I have been creating ever since.
Through painting, I recognized the of fear being exposed that kept me from completing my own work. As I continue with a creative habit, I am becoming more vulnerable to the world, and I have found validation. The rhino image reoccurs as a bridge between my inner sensitive self, and the outer world that I deem judgmental. I think about what it means to stand strong enough to withstand adverse situations each time I use the rhino in my work. Each finished piece strengthens my resolve to paint. I am currently working on channeling my sensitivity into various depictions of the rhino, as a way to escape from the fear of criticism and judgement that I find overwhelming and terrifying.
Painting the rhinos is helping me find my artistic voice. The process of creating is opening my world to new artistic ideas, adventures and opportunities. Each painting represents a different aspect of overcoming the fear of criticism and rejection. I love working with patterns and textures, and I would love to learn about encaustics. I have been experimenting with various mediums in acrylic paint and I love applying thick textured paint to canvases, yet showing detail.
Now that I have begun practicing as an artist separate from my teaching, I have learned so much more about the creative process. This has changed my approach to teaching and building relationships with not only my students, but also close loved ones in my life. I love learning and growing as I create and interact with other artists. Our school is honored to have a resident artist this year, and I am looking forward to working alongside him and the students. In the future, I am looking for opportunities to paint community murals.
Special thanks to Kate Menke, Stephanie Rond, Cat Sheridan and Duarte Brown!